Little Yellow Leo: Papa's Bones/Mama's Flesh - 2015 - 2016

a work in progress.

 

“Little Yellow Leo: Papa's Bones/Mama’s Flesh” is the working title of a new autobiographical solo I am developing. I have my dad’s (Caucasian) bones, my mom’s (Mexican) flesh, and the memory of playing dress up in my bedroom with costumes that often rode up my butt – a fetish/fantasy of wanting to become a male exotic dancer when I got older. Learning the customs and traditions of my Mexican American family, like cooking, dancing and religion, was a dominant part of my adolescence. Simultaneously I experienced the growth of unwanted body hair, bizarre sexual fantasies, and fear/anxiety of being seen. While shaving the dark black hair on my arms, legs and face, refusing to play macho, and building resentment towards the church, I inadvertently invisibilized many of the characteristics that marked me as Latino.  This solo attempts to unfold the intersection of my Hispanic and queer identity in a body that over time has developed the skill to code switch and pass/respond in multiple environments: to hide, succeed, perform, find love, find sex. I am interested in unearthing the past to uncover many things that were lost. “Little Yellow Leo…” weaves personal story and embodied memory through speaking, dancing and contemporary dance tropes to forge dynamic and thoughtful approaches in a critical way.

 

This work sample is a timed improv structure I have been developing since March 2015. The structure always begins with me trying to get my leotard to ride up my butt. When I feel there is nothing more I can do to get it higher and deeper, I turn around and begin playing with whatever impulse is wanting to come out of my body in relation to what/how I'm feeling, what the music might be signaling or any investigations of vocabulary I feel relate to my writing - which is what I am simultaneously developing with this project. The improv is always different and sometimes takes on very different shape. This is just one example.

 

This is very much a work in progress.